Operation

Listening to – Teenage enema nurses in bondage by Killer Pussy.

I had to pay a visit to a friend in hospital today. Reminded me of the old days, hospital radio, the waft of bedpans, the screams …

Now, I am not one for eavesdropping but the beds are so close together you are almost sharing, so, when the doctor paid a visit to the retired free church minister in the bed opposite my friend, I couldn’t really miss the conversation.

“How are we feeling today Reverend MacKinnon?”

Now coupling the doc’s strong Australian accent with the good Reverend’s deafness created some communication difficulties.

“Have you managed to go to the toilet today, Reverend?” “Eh?” “Toilet?” “Eh?” “How are the waterworks?” “Eh?” “Can you hit the wall or did you fill your slippers again?”

I did learn one interesting thing, though still not listening in obviously. NHS Slackbuie have found a new scheme to raise money and cut waiting lists. Having seen the mobile cinema – the cinema experience in a lorry, they have commissioned their own mobile theatre – the medical experience in a lorry. It’s a bit of genius really, you can hire it out for kids parties when not operating, and even better, how can you top the experience of fixing grandpa’s hernia followed by birthday cake? Fun for all the family.

I really think this might catch on.